Rejection 101

A lot of men are frozen stiff by their fear of rejection.

I spent nearly 90% of my time on nights out, battling my thoughts, stood at the side of a dance floor, praying for a miracle: for the clouds to part and a bolt of lightning courage to strike me so I could stop the monotonous habit of being a wall flower.

I know for me what stood between me and having a fun time was the fear of being rejected, ridiculed and humiliated.

Strategies to overcome this would be plentiful - reading books, attending course, all to find out clever ways and gimmicks that would circumvent any possible potential of failure when it came to approaching and starting a conversation with women.

However, this led to a vicious circle of doubt and second guessing myself, analysis paralysis & worst of all perfectionism…

And why is all of that bad? Because inevitably the end-result was no action. And action, my friends, is the only way to progress.

Getting rejected or getting things wrongs and being humiliated is not the worst thing that can happen to you in a bar - the worst thing is no action = no fun = never ending sad times.

The desire to be flawless and un-rejectable has another insidious outcome - one that most people never see because its not in their field of awareness: IT KILLS YOUR PERSONALITY! It stifles your character and buries your unique self a.k.a your truth.

Dating and relationships are a life long game and require a solid foundation - one not built on gimmicks and strategies.

In the long run, never becoming comfortable with yourself nor expressing your truth leaves you unaware and unconscious to what you really love and desire - which will only lead to a life of perpetual karmic act of biting yourself in the ass.

Except its not a mystical energy bringing you down but rather the sadness born of never listening to your soul and never expressing your truth.

Hiding yourself behind strategies only leads to needing more strategies on how to hide “weakness” and seeking to impress others.

Expression, not impression - this is the key!

When you think of any truly great man or woman you have come across - you’ll notice they were impressive because they expressed themselves freely - whereas anyone who tried to impress you left a metaphorical stink that made you not want to hang around them for long.

So, how do you deal with rejection - stop rejecting your truth.

Go forth and express who you really are. Sure, you may be nervous but your future self will thank you.

- Ahmad

Ahmad Jooma